Posts
I wish I could blame that time of the month. If cyclic hormones had seized control of my tear ducts and all of this was entirely normal, I'd feel less insane. But the scientist part of my brain demanded proof. Sadly, after searching PubMed, I could really only blame my period and the corresponding hormonal fluctuations if I were taking hormones (e.g. on the pill). That's not to say my hormones aren't raging out of control or that I didn't get a kick of prolactin anyway, but I concluded this isn't PMS. That was actually an obvious conclusion, since the P stands for "Pre" and not Post. And because I've been doing this whole monthly thing for long enough to know it's not a normal cyclic thing for me.
I'm not pregnant. I'm not menopausal. I'm not particularly sad. So what the hell is wrong with me these days!? I was about to go search Google and PubMed some more, but the UPS guy is at my door and that has me a little verklempt.
*J Psychosom Obstet Gynaecol. 2003 Dec;24(4):247-55. Self-reported crying during the menstrual cycle: sign of discomfort and emotional turmoil or erroneous beliefs?
It's an Unsolved Mystery! (cue theme music)
ReplyDeleteI once bought a casette tape that had a tune that made me cry when it played, even though I had no associations with the song and was not particularly listening close. I rewound and played it again and again with the waterworks... I was laughing and crying at the same time because it was so involuntary and complete. I can only assume something happened when I was a toddler and I have no memory of it, because even after it stopped making me tear up every time (weeks later), it still sounded really mysterious and emotional to me.
ReplyDeleteBTW - I'm a Morgantown tech writer and I think you are a terrific poet - Greg Leatherman
Now that the end of the month is here and I can look back on January as a whole, the random sobbing doesn't seem so mysterious. Once the furnace died, things began bursting, crumbling, leaking, and breaking in a cascade that almost felt scripted. Not that it makes me sound any less crazy, but I did plenty of random laughing too. Yay for February!
ReplyDelete@Greg Was it a good song at least?
ReplyDeleteThanks for the compliment. Sometimes, I swear I can feel the creativity being sapped out of me when I'm writing for work. And speaking of that--there can't be that many of us (Morgantown area tech writers). Hmm..should we try to figure out our mutual friends?
Well, you can no doubt tell I'm a little hesitant to list the song (Candles in the Rain by Melanie). At least it wasn't Brand New Key!
ReplyDeleteStress? Pent up emotion? I find when I'm having an emotionally irrelevant moment it is usually due to some lingering emotion or conglomerate that needs attention. Thats my two-bit psychoanalysis for you :)
ReplyDelete